Making the time to find new girlfriends

What is it about women that we need other women in our lives? I don’t see that need so much in men. Women are social creatures. We need other women to commiserate with, cry with, laugh with, share with. I have had seasons in my life when I needed women friends more than others. Right now, I’m in a season where I have few women friends. I’m in transition. For the past 10 years, the other moms at our homeschool co-op have been my close, dear friends. Every Friday, I could count on someone needing a listening ear or if I was the one needing an ear, I could find it. For those of us in drama class, we’d have two hours in the afternoon to sit on the couches and talk. Our topics were as varied as we were as women.

Now that I’m no longer in the co-op and my years as a homeschool mom are ending, I’m at a crossroads.Image Because we no longer have Fridays together, those homeschool friends have dwindled. I was a little sad about that at first, because I thought our friendships went beyond those Fridays. But, when that common connection is severed, the friendships usually suffer. I’ve experienced that with job changes in my early adult years and with moving to different states during my kids growing up years. Facebook has helped me stay connected with those friends far away in miles and time, but you really can’t have an intimate, close friendship with someone through Facebook (at least I can’t).

Over the past 10 years, I have not been too involved at our church. My social connections were with homeschoolers. My husband and I have been in and led adult small groups over these 10 years, but I haven’t been in women’s Bible studies at the church. I was in Bible Study Fellowship for eight years. That was great for my spiritual growth and knowledge of scripture, but long-lasting friendships didn’t come out of BSF (except with the homeschool friends that were in the class also).

This year I started going to Wednesday morning Bible study at my church. There are many different studies going on at the same time. It is wonderful to see so many women taking time out on Wednesday to study God’s word. My hope was to get connected with women at my church and make some new friends.  I don’t know that that necessarily happened; time will tell.

This past Saturday, I spent several hours with three other ladies for the (in)courage (in) RL conference. (in)courage is an on-line community of women. Daily blogs are sent out for encouragement. The ladies of (in)courage put together this on-line conference. It was all about community and the need for community. I signed up for the conference because I like the (in)courage blogs, but also in hopes of making new friends. I’m trying to be intentional about this making friends thing. It seems weird that I’ve lived somewhere for 10 years, but I’m having to make friends all over again. Just one of those seasons of change consequences.

I enjoyed Saturday. It had been a long time since I’d spent several hours talking to women about a variety of topics and pouring our hearts out to each other. I really thought I was OK not having that in my life. But, Saturday proved that I really have been missing those times. I miss the moms on Fridays– our sharing and encouraging one another. So, what I learned is that I need to be intentional and find some new girlfriends. How I’ll do that, I’m not sure, but I’m positive God will show me what I need to do and bring those women into my life.

How have you made new friends when you needed to? Share so I can learn from you.

Those are my thoughts for today.


2 comments on “Making the time to find new girlfriends

  1. I, too, have made most of my good friends through homeschool connections one way or another…everyone should homeschool for that reason alone!! LOL

  2. Pingback: I’m rallying in my love-love for tennis « Teresa's Thoughts for Today

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